Life Re-answered

Recently I came across an interesting anecdote. Sharing here for your pensive consumption.

Once a teacher decided to give a surprise test to his class. As his students settled for the day’s lecture, he started handing out their question-papers. After a few quick glances students pointed out that they had already written this test a few months back. The teacher smiled and replied, “Yes, I am aware. But what you don’t know is that your answers would have changed.” 

And this question itself was worth answering - if ever life repeats its questions, do we change the answers?

Very often I hear people asking – what if life gives you another chance? A second chance to either turn the clock backwards or to revisit the old lanes. Another chance to do something differently, something better, more right.

I have never ever managed to find even a single episode of my life, which I would change, if given a choice. Even the darkest days, even the biggest mistakes, even the unplanned unexpected turn of events, I never wish for them to be otherwise. This is not my mature outlook towards life. This is just a simple acceptance of things the way they were and the way they are.

I have not known life in any other way. Even if I try imagining the chain of events any differently, I fail miserably. Every dark cloud of life has had a silver lining. I just needed time to see it. Every time I survived a bumpy stretch of the journey, I picked up some things to take along. Some baggage of the past is still there with me. Some valuables were lost mid-way. Yet, I can’t complain. Whichever turns it takes, life will remain a mixed bag of events, some happy some sad. Its easier to accept and live with the ones I have known. Than struggling with the thoughts of the unknown.

However, the problem at hand is slightly different. If life were to ask me some of these questions now again, if I get to choose between the same or similar options again, if I happen to revisit the same crossroad again, will my answer, my choice be the same? May be or may not be. Its not about correcting the past mistakes. Its not about guilt pangs or lessons learnt the hard way. It is about those situations where we re-define our choices, without being apologetic about a previous decision. 

It was quite interesting to ponder over some of these questions and some of these choices. Specially those where my answers have indeed changed.

My most recent experience of making a new choice came when career presented yet another opportunity. As in previous cases, this break came with a promise of better growth and heftier pay package. Also, as it happened previously, these gains were available at the cost of geographical relocation. Having worked in six different cities and four different organizations over a span of a decade and a half, I have always endorsed a change. Along with the benefits of growth and prosperity, it brought along diverse work environments, varied organisational and social cultures, transgenerational co-workers, new skills and a plethora of business problems to solve for. All in all, a complete package for my wholistic development.

While that choice was right at that point in time, the need of the hour has changed. Today stability is a bigger priority than growth. Regular and regimented routines appeal more to my sensibilities than spurts of unplanned unexpected excitement. Today time spent with family and friends leaves me more satiated, than the over-hyped ‘me’ time. A plateauing out career graph doesn’t scare me anymore, but the thought of my personal life going on a whirlwind ride does send shivers across my being.

The other aspect where my answers and approach to life has changed, is with respect to my standing in my interpersonal relations. I no longer hesitate in accepting my mistakes, acknowledging my short-comings and laughing out loud on my blunders. I have always been very understanding and accommodating towards the needs and feelings of my near and dear ones. Now I am equally vocal and demanding about my own choices and wishes. Always endowed with an independent mind, I abstained from voicing it out unless needed. My value-based up-bringing had instilled in me some discipline around communication too. I would speak when spoken to, refrained from giving unsolicited advice, gave people ample space to express their views. A patient listener, I have learnt and gained a lot from people around me. From following their words of wisdom, from sharing their experiences and learning from their mistakes. While my silence helped me navigate many a delicate situation peacefully, now my voice is needed to address the challenges. While my listening skills helped me establish many close ties, my debating skills will help in ironing out the creases.  

Both these decisions have had a life-changing impact on me. While superficially they were related to one single objective, in reality they touched every aspect of my existence. From my personal and professional standing, my writings, my learnings, my interactions with family, friends and acquaintances, all had at least one thread connected with each of these decisions. 

Last but not the least, if ever life brings me to a point where I have the choice available…..I will learn to dance. That is one question where I have known the answer all along. Now only waiting for the question to pop-up.