Hop Art & Hopping Mom

Have you ever been an orange in a basket of apples? J

I mean have you ever been the odd man in a group? And that too an obvious odd one? Standing one amongst them, yet as we say, standing out?

Yesterday I had a similar experience. Some people or organizations in my city, who feel passionately about art or food or business or all of these, organized an Art Hop event. Taking from the official brochure, it was 1 Day of 40 Performances and 30 Workshops, done by 50 Artists, across 14 Locations. To put it more simply, there were events going on parallely at each of the location, most of which are restaurants, and one had to make a choice of attending one. Thankfully the locations were within a radius of 5-7km, making hopping a possibility in today’s era of bikes & cars. As an alternative, you could choose one or two locations and attend all the events going on at these, sequentially. To add to the fun, or rather to add to the difficulty of making a choice, the range of events varied from musicals, instrumentals, to dances, to paintings & photography, from story-telling to writing techniques, from talk shows to sessions with life coaches, to name a few. And not to forget cocktail making and beer brewing sessions.  

If this has excited you enough to read further, then let me share some details of my adventure yesterday. We started with a drumming session, where we actually got chance to play a few beats. There was a decent turnout, of about 40-50 people at a minimum. Most of us had never played any kinds of drums in our life, barring a few taps on the table or someone’s back. Yet as a group we turned out to be in perfect rhythm. Perfectly matching beats, following instructions and enjoying the ‘upbeat’.

The next session was with a Life-coach, a term I had been introduced to in recent past. Here the coach draws upon various tools such as sociology, psychology, career counseling etc, to help individuals lead a better life. Yesterday’s session focused on identifying one’s goals in life. The presenter explained how one may believe that peaches are the sweetest thing on earth. Based on this belief, one may invest time, effort and other resources in peach farming. However, at the end of it, one may realize that actually mangoes are sweeter than peaches. And then the ensuing dilemma, to continue with peaches or to move on to mangoes. ;-)

Post this session, we gave some serious thought to our current life, and then decided to douse our worries by attending the cocktail making session. It’s quite interesting, when you are sure of your choices, and have made up your mind on what you like and what you don’t, then comes along that twist in the taste, which takes you by surprise. Something similar happened with us in this session, and we discovered a few new tips for a few old glasses. At the end of it we were certainly not shaken, but stirred.

Having wetted our appetites, we headed towards our favorite joint, and spent the rest of the evening, enjoying the conversations and food, with changing backdrops of fusion and rock-n-roll music, & with belly dancing adding a refreshing twist.

And as the day came to an end, and we headed towards our pillows & sheets, my thoughts went rushing towards a few pertinent questions. Let me put your anxieties to rest at the very beginning. No, I am not going to ponder on the efficacies of such events, their social and commercial value or their contribution in my or anyone’s life for that matter. I think such events have long proved their rationale, and thus continue to exist in societies across the world.

I was thinking how different I was, or rather my small group was, from the sea of crowd we met at each of these events. To begin with, we were among the senior set of participants. Not that any of us look, believe or behave like the elderly, having recently entered the thirties, but we were certainly above the average age attending these sessions, barring a couple of grey haired enthusiasts. But the more striking difference was that I was the only one, and may be there were others, but I didn’t see any, and thus I was the only one holding a two-year old in my arms. The closest to me were a couple of ladies, with daughters in the age-group of 8-10 years. But they too were small in number. I could only count 3 during the day. But none, and absolutely no one had a child in their arms.

And thus I was forced to ask myself a few tough questions here. First of all, is holding your child and hopping around to see so many things an extremely challenging task? In last two years with my daughter, I have time & again drawn inspiration from mothers who run chores, holding their little one in their arms. And you find them everywhere, from airtports, railway-stations, to shopping malls, grocery shops, weddings and hospitals. Everywhere I have found sometimes cranky, sometimes confused infants or toddlers, clinging to their mother, who is busy completing her other obligations of life. And every time I have told myself, I they can, so can I. But then why not here?

I agree, there were certain events, dedicatedly planned for the younger lot, like painting and paper mache workshops. Even though I didn’t visit any of these events, I am assuming a few encouraging parents would have brought their kids to these places. But why not to others? Like drumming? Like weaving? Like fusion or rock-n-roll music? Like belly dancing? Like so many photography & painting exhibitions that were on display? Specially in the times when enrolling their kids for music, dance, art& craft workshops is a rage among parents, why were they not there for these events?

Having ruled out the possibilities of a ‘challenging task’ & ‘lack of interest or awareness’, I started pondering on a bigger question. Why don’t we have a culture or facility of having these activities / trainings for the family? Where parents and kids together experience the thrill. Just the way they do in joy-rides.

And I have felt the absence of these not only in terms of facilities, but also as a culture. For example, in all my friends and acquaintances, I don’t know of any set of parents who say ‘these days me and my child are together learning this new art’. Even where I stay, there are separate dance & yoga classes going on for mothers and kids. Given the scorching summer heat, a lot people are enthusiastic about swimming, but barring one or two exceptions (one of which is me only), I hardly see parents going together with the kids. Most parents only come to see, encourage, and assist their kids in changing.

I am not propagating any new ideologies here. Having entered this arena much later than most of my counterparts around me, I have little or no advice to offer. Most parents I know of follow either of the two options. They put their life on hold till the time the child is of a certain age and wait patiently till the time the child is away to the safety of a school or a baby-sitter. Else they actively arrange for background support structure, in terms of grand-parents or day-care centers, and go out to live their share of life.

As I said, I am no expert in this. But I am trying to find Budhha’s middle path here. And will surely share if I stumble on something. Till then it’s a little hopping, little balancing, little misses and little fun for me.

Makhhi, Me & We – And the Glass Wall

Today morning I found a Makhhi (house-fly) stranded on my window pane. And for a sudden and strange reason, I felt a strong sense of empathy for her. Stranded on my window, she had the complete view of the bright beautiful world outside. Yet something unseen (in this case the window glass), yet powerful was preventing its flight. And in that split of a second I realized why I felt the way I did. Haven’t we all felt the same at some point?

There is a famous saying – ‘Luck favors the Brave’. Robert Greene, in his book ‘Fear Nothing’ also talks of knowing our fears, and fighting them out. History is full of stories of the likes of ‘David & Goliath’, where the simple shepherd boy David defeats the giant Goliath, riding on his intelligence and bravery. Nearer home, generations have passed the legend of Dhruva, who because of his determination, dedication and faith, could meet his Lord. This and many such tales inspire us to give our best in whatever we do, with no fear or constraint stopping us.

However, my visitor today morning, was facing the challenge of a different kind. In all of the above examples, the protagonist had his goal defined, and the enemy known. But my poor friend, the housefly, was fighting a different battle. It didn’t know what it was up against. It couldn’t see the glass-pane stopping it.

Haven’t we all felt so helpless at some point in life? There are times we feel as if we are the modern day reincarnation of Greek King Sisyphus, condemned to push the stone boulder. On some days we talk of invisible iron chains locking our feet, preventing our movement. My husband often talks of ‘cobwebs of mind’ that entangle our thought process & prevent us from taking an objective view of things. And then the most often used term ‘stroke of bad luck’, used so often that it requires neither an introduction, nor an explanation. We use these and many other examples to explain the unseen hurdles and challenges that prevent our flight.

So what is the way forward? Can we rely only on our determination and hard work to overcome these challenges? Is the ‘smart way’ the better way out? Or the best solution is the use of your intelligence, patience, smartness, perseverance, dedication, determination, hard work………….and on and on and on.

The other day a friend was talking to me about his woes, and he repeatedly said, “it’s as if I am banging my head against the wall”. And at one point I couldn’t prevent myself from telling him, that this will only injure your head. But will not make a way forward for you. So what could he do in such a situation? Some of the possible solutions are:

1.       Magic Wand – wait for the invisible hand or stroke of good luck, like it happened for the housefly. I saw its struggle and opened the window. Similarly, we can also hope that God will send some Knight in Shining Armor, who will come to your rescue. Or better still, with a magic wand the wall will disappear.

2.       Dynamite Box – procure a box of dynamite and with a big bang tear the wall into pieces. Or more realistically, with a mighty blow of confidence, face your challenge, fight it out, and win your way forward.

3.       Slow & Steady – figure out a weak spot in the wall. Keep making small blows at it, till it gives way.

4.       Pigeon Approach – as a kid you must have heard of the pigeon, who on seeing the cat, closed its eyes, and pretended the cat is not there. Similarly you can also choose to ignore your problems, and continue with your life as if they don’t exist.

5.       Conquer It – use your intelligence, smartness, patience, hard work…..and all other adjectives used previously or the ones you can think of…..and conquer the wall. Climb on it and take a good view of the world below.

6.       Turn on the Light – as so many times we are told to illuminate our inner light, and it does happen that what we previously perceived as the glass wall, was a mere reflection.

 

And the list continues. In life there is no correct answer. Most of the questions we struggle with are multiple choice kinds. And the rules of the game also keep changing. Sometimes you are allowed to make multiple choices. Sometimes you can keep guessing till you figure out the right answer. Sometimes, you have only one chance, and then no looking back. Worse still, one chance with negative points for every wrong answer.

 

I am sitting right next to same window where my morning visitor was entrapped, finishing penning down my thoughts. There is a sense of solace. I am not alone. The makhhi, me & we (the reader), are all struggling with the unseen, unexplained. And yet we are hoping to take our flight.