Go Green, Get Married

They say, ‘Marriages are made in heaven’. I don’t know about that.

They also say that ‘Marriages though made in heaven, are celebrated on the earth’. I kind of agree.

But there is more to it. It is quite a remarkable institution. Because it is made in heaven, celebrated on earth, but breeds & grows or dies within the four walls of a house. Hence the gods, the angels and the fellow human beings, together play an active role in forming this union of two sacred souls. However, once the union happens, they all conveniently depart, leaving the poor souls to manage their daily chores and grocery shopping lists. And it is then the real test of marriage begins.

Quite recently I was flipping through the pages of a magazine, when I came across something which triggered the thoughts I have just described in the para above. It was an article citing quotes from some famous personalities, who had condemned or denounced the institution of marriage. Some of them had never crossed this boundary, having burnt their fingers with flames of love. Others had reached their conclusions after painfully bearing the brunt of marriage woes.

I remember, when I was contemplating entering holy matrimony, some of my by-then-experienced friends had forewarned me. “buddy, there is nothing like ‘happily-married’ and/or ‘happy ever-after’.” Yet they all recommended, it is a necessary but not sufficient condition for a happy and healthy life.

Yet that article got me thinking. I agree all famous personalities are not Aristotles and Chanakayas of the world. They may or may not have an intellectual contribution to make for the larger audience. However, they do have the reach. Their voice is heard, at least by a few. And even though the proponents of this institution are present in plenty, their voice need to be echoed to immerse the opposing noise, wherever present. Further, having personally benefited greatly from its merits, I consider it my moral responsibility to speak in its favor. So given below are my two pence:

·         Time & Effort Saving – if all of us were to stay in independent set-ups, everyone will have to spend time buying groceries, paying utility bills, cleaning & cooking. However division of labor between the married couple saves time & effort.

·         Stable System – as compared to other relationships like live-in or friendship, exit barriers in a marriage are higher, lending it additional stability.

·         Higher Scope of Production – producing off-springs is essential for all species. Among humans, marriage due its higher degree of commitment & stability, lends support for long duration of child-bearing & care.

·         Encourages Investment – again given the commitment for a longer duration as compared to other forms of relationships, married couples are more likely to share resources for future investments.

These are just some of the points which I believe make marriage an efficient system, as compared to its alternative institutions. And efficiency merits encouragement. 

Strange Relations, Stranger Emotions

“Sometimes it’s a form of love just to talk to somebody that you have nothing in common with and still be fascinated by their presence” – David Byrne

In my previous post I had attempted to write a short story. I managed to write something. But some of my readers felt that the story should have a more conclusive ending. I agree the ending was slightly abrupt. But that was the intention.

For those who don’t know the background, let me take a step back, and start again. There are two individuals, the protagonists as we may call them. They are from different backgrounds, different ideologies, different upbringing and probably different thought processes. Yet there is one thing in common. They are alone. Till the time they meet and start talking. And that’s where the story ends.

Yes, I could have given it a happy ever after ending, where they meet and decide to stay together. Or else, I could have played the devil, and made them part ways, each carrying their own share of pain. But I didn’t do either of this. Isn’t this what life does to us? It opens the door and then leaves us with the decision of venturing out or not. Isn’t that a fair treatment? And for now let me leave it at that. As now it’s for you to decide if my decision was right or not.

As far as I am concerned, I have already decided.

Coming back to my story, what happens after the two protagonists meet is not the crux of it. To my mind it doesn’t even matter. What matters is that the meeting results in conversations.

Conversations – the core of any relationship, personal or professional, family or friends, likes or dislikes. These conversations decide the depth and the intensity of the relation. They determine the emotional quotient. They bridge the gaps, and bring hearts closer.

The latest superhit Bollywood (Hindi cinema) movie ‘Queen’, is also based on similar plots. The protagonist, a simple & naïve girl ventures into the big world. She lands up in foreign lands, surrounded by strangers. Yet the friends she makes, the bonds she forms and the experiences she gathers, help her discover parts of her personality she was totally oblivious of till that time.

In a similar example, from the movie ‘Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara’ (another superhit from Hindi cinema), one of the protagonists is able to share his deepest emotions, with his love interest, a European girl, who doesn’t understand his language, but struggles to share the same with his childhood friends. Thus is the language of love, connections of heart. Which though conveyed through words, transcends the barriers of language and vocabulary.

Some of these connections are nothing but momentary, these relations transitory. They are beyond the definitions of friends and family, and at best can be classified as a mere stranger. Yet their impressions on our heart, their footprints on our memories are permanent.

Haruki Murakami had said, “Anyone who falls in love is searching for the missing pieces of themselves.” And any one person can not join all the missing links.