It has been seven years since I published the first piece of Itts-Bitts. Seven years and seventy-seven pieces later, I decided to pause, to look back, and then take a new turn.
No, none of
it was planned from the beginning. In fact, nothing was planned in the
beginning. It had just started as an attempt to pen down some random thoughts,
some memorable experiences, and some life-changing lessons. The name itself symbolized
little pieces of life and of me.
Each piece
had a part of me, each molding me a bit with it. Every time I reflected on a
write-up, it made me see myself more clearly. It helped me understand my
emotions. It made me structure my thoughts. It allowed me to write what I couldn’t
say. It pushed me to a conclusion. And then to start all over again, with
something new, something afresh, something previously undiscovered.
I continued
over the years, more to fill my bowl of joy. It was always a hobby that pulled
me towards itself. The thought of writing excited me. The idea of publishing it
made me nervous. And the reader’s response scared me. I could never write for
them. It was always for myself first. It was always for the joy of writing, rather
than the want of being read.
Thus, I never
quite made an attempt to take it any further. I wrote when I felt like writing.
I wrote about whatever caught my attention. I wrote my perspective on things. At
times I shared my writings with the wider world. At times with a few close
friends. And some pieces, with no one. They were kept there, like a photograph
in an old album, which no one bothers to see.
Many of my
friends told me to take up writing professionally. They suggested I write
stories or novels or should even consider blogging as a side profession. But I was
never ready to take a plunge. I could never force myself to write something. The
pressure of writing often and writing well would take away the pleasure of
writing. Adding performance pressure would mean I start measuring myself. It meant
setting benchmarks, it meant raising hopes and then striving to meet them. Honestly,
I did try tracking page-views for some of the posts. But fortunately, or unfortunately,
they were always quite contrary to my expectations. Thus after a few failed
attempts, I decided to retract to my comfort zone. To enjoy the process of
writing, rather than trying to sell my writings.
However,
today I am forced to revisit Itts-Bitts. Two recent events made me pause to
think, to look back with a sense of pride, and take a step forward with a
greater level of confidence.
During a
recent official conference call, I found myself alone with a senior director of
my company. As we waited for others to join, we started with some trivial
conversations. We had just resumed work after a long weekend, and he asked me
how I had spent my time. I, in full honesty, told him that I spent a good chunk
of my time completing a write-up for my blog. As we continued on the topic, I told
him what I had told many others, many times over the years. I spoke about
Itts-Bitts being more of a passion than a profession, about how it helps me delve
deep into a topic and how it makes me structure my thoughts. I also spoke about
how I have never put any real effort in marketing my work. He nodded in
agreement and also asked me a few other details about this hobby of mine. It was
during one of those points that I casually mentioned crossing 30k page views
over the years. And his eyes popped out, “Thirty thousand page views!!! All this
while when you spoke, I thought you may have a few hundred page-views, considering
your limited audience. But thirty thousand page-views means there is a world
out there looking at your stuff!! And that, my friend, is an incredible job.”
A week
later to this conversation, I was casually chatting with a close friend of
mine. At some point in between, he asked if I am working on a new write-up. He has
been religiously reading my articles, and also sharing candid feedback for some
time now. As I mentioned the soon approaching 7th anniversary of
Itts-Bitts, he seemed quite happy about it. As always, I repeated my same old,
much-beaten track – of it just being a passion and not a profession. He made me
stop in the middle, “You at least have a passion!! a hobby, a gainful
engagement, which you have sustained and nurtured for seven long years. Most of us don’t even know what they like. People like me spend their time with whatever comes their way. While you manage to give it a direction, a
shape, and a form. And that, my friend, is a big achievement.”
Both these conversations
left me with a sense of pride, a feeling of satisfaction. While I have received
many compliments over the years, and they all have been special in their own
way. Yet, these two conversations, surely made me see Itts-Bitts in a new
light.
Yesterday was the 7th anniversary of Itts-Bitts. As I started my day, an email popped up on my window, indicating receipt of a gift. As I opened the email, I saw it was a gift voucher from the same friend. He had gifted me an online course in creative writing.
It was in reference
to another conversation we had had. “You take feedback from absolutely the
wrong set of people.” He had said. “While I love to read your writings, I am
not equipped to give you constructive feedback. You should consult people from
this domain.”
The email
came with a personal message from the sender, ‘Hoping this will help you in your
pursuits of a better you.’
Thus today, after seven years, and seventy-seven pieces of Itts-Bitts, I pause to look back, to see the distance covered with some degree of satisfaction, and a certain pride. And then I humbly look forward to write more, write better and be better than myself.
Happy Seventh Itts-Bitts. Indeed a lucky seventh.
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