Motherhood is not a project......

......It doesn't end in 6 months

“I am so glad that we have this new maternity policy. Now I can be off work for 6 months post-delivery.” My soon-to-be-a-mum friend beamed.

I was about to prick her bubble of excitement – what makes you think that your baby won’t need you after 6 months. But kept quiet seeing her hopeful smile.

“Yes, initial few months are difficult.” Jumped in another friend, who for last half hour had been sharing her woes of ‘terrible twos’. Yet another one was fretting over the new pre-school and the changes it was bringing in their daily schedules. From toilet-training to vaccinations, from teething troubles to baby-sitter distresses, from challenges of work-life balance to perils of a working-mother, notes were exchanged and noted.

“For you things must be quite stable now.” “Your daughter goes to school now.” Their remarks were directly aimed at me. “Once she starts managing her studies, you’ll be a free bird again.”

And it was becoming difficult to hold back my thoughts.

My role models are women who have been working-mothers for more than 40 years now. All these women have now taken retirement from active work-life but their ‘job’ as a ‘mother’ continues.

The first one was a trained musician and a teacher. Music continues to be her pastime, while teaching has become a forgotten skill. But she has kept traits of a working mother alive. Even now she gets up early every day to prepare and pack lunch boxes for the entire family. A ritual which began when her first-born joined school, has been continuing with his better-half and kids. While most of the other household duties have passed over to younger and stronger hands, this one daily task makes her an integral part of their lives.

My second role model has had a very successful career. After retiring from the post of a senior government officer, she started taking up ad-hoc consultation assignments. But even when her days are tightly packed, her evening are always free for her grand-children. Dividing her time between her four grand-kids, she teaches them intricacies of literature and music, two of her favorite subjects. An inspiration as a mother, she has grown up to be a role model as a grand-mother.  

Another mother who I admire a lot, didn’t allow the feeling of ‘empty nest’ take over her. Both her kids are now settled in different cities. A business woman and a sports enthusiast, she started learning yoga after moving to the category of ‘senior citizen’.  However her otherwise active social life comes to a halt when her kids need her. From baby-sitting during high pressure times, to joining them for family vacations, from summer camps to festival seasons – she is just a phone-call away. A true example of a ‘friend in a need is a friend indeed’, her otherwise independent kids still come seeking her support when in need.

Compared to these seniors, I have just started my journey of ‘motherhood’. But seeing them I believe I have a long way to go. An investment of nine months has turned out to be a commitment of a life-time. And there is a lot I need to learn and evolve into as a ‘working mother’.