Woman - And her wars within

She was sitting on the window sill, a mute spectator of the hustle and bustle in street below. Sun was setting in some far-away land. Her hairs were loosely tied in a bun, with a few stray stands dancing with evening breeze. But she was oblivious to everything around her. Maybe even oblivious of her own existence.

A white paper on her study table fluttered with evening breeze. It was an invite letter from her company's head office, informing her that her project had been selected for further research and implementation. Also, she was expected to join the new team being set-up for this plan. Her manager told her at least a dozen times, how proud he felt of her achievements. They all agreed it was a golden opportunity and that she was a deserving candidate. The only challenge - it meant that she will have to relocate to a foreign land for at least a year. 

A mother, a wife and a daughter. The guilt of leaving her family behind overpowered any sign of happiness or excitement she may have felt. Her job, future prospects, family responsibilities, financial liabilities, social pressure, emotional bindings – her options were limited, her constraints unlimited.

A strong gush of wind came in and the white sheet of paper fell down. Just then the housekeeping woman came in. She had come to pick up empty coffee mug from the table. She picked up the white sheet and kept it back on the table, covering it with a weight. Her old but neatly worn clothes reflected a weak financial and strong moral standing. Lost in her thoughts, this poor and illiterate woman was completing her daily tasks mechanically, yet efficiently.

She had accepted it as her fate when her husband passed away in a road accident. Her own family labelled it as God’s punishment for marrying against their wishes. Her husband’s family cursed her for bringing in this bad-luck. Carrying her two-year old daughter she had moved to a different city, single-handedly surviving all challenges that life presented.

And now this proposal to remarry had caused a hurricane in her mind. It was the friendly old neighbor who initiated the conversation. This man lived in the same neighborhood, and his wife had passed away a few years back. His kids and her daughter were friends. “Kids will get love of both parents. You can manage his house. He will run your errands.” The old woman had suggested. “You need support of a man in your life.” But was it right to remarry? Wasn’t it against her religion and social beliefs? What if she is truly unlucky? What if luck betrays her yet again? Was she so vulnerable? Scars of her past were still not healed. If now life gives another wound, how will she bear it? Her internal monsters were haunting, her strength was weakening.

She paused for a minute at the table, contemplating if she should seek advice from her learned employer. But couldn’t muster up the courage and quietly went back to the kitchen.

Just then the doorbell rang. It was the young next-door girl. She came and almost threw herself on the couch. This was like a second-home to her, with its occupant being her friend, philosopher and guide.

Normally a bubbly girl, today she seemed tired and lost. She switched on the television, as if to take her mind off her troubles. A graduate now, she wanted to pursue a course in television reporting. However her family was totally against this decision. Her security and well-being were their main concerns. Rising crime rate against women & high probability of being in potentially dangerous situations were considered as big threats. And her family was not ready to take any kind of risk with a daughter they loved and cherished since birth.

But for her young mind this was somewhat confusing. She was always taught to take independent decisions. She was taught to stand for what is right. But how could she be independent if she is constantly dependent on someone else for her security. Inside the house she had equal rights, but out on streets even her right to exist was denied. Some unknown unseen people were now effecting one of the biggest decisions of her life. Her mind was determined, her heart frightened.

Tea was served. News channels were telecasting world-wide celebrations for Women’s Day. And three women, sitting in that room felt their hearts tied down, shying away from a leap of faith, scared to fly.