Cheating Partner

“What if you find that he is cheating on you? What will you do?”

Hypothetically this question was as true for me, as it is for any of us in a committed relationship. Hypothetically it is valid for all, not restricted by gender, place, caste or creed.

And like in most such cases there is no correct answer.

Each one of us has a separate equation that we try to optimally balance. Throw in the parameters of child-care, family pressure, emotional bonding, financial dependence, social stigma and willingness to fight, and the balance can tilt in any direction.

My protagonist of the day didn’t have any of the binding constraints. Or even if there were, they didn’t matter. What I saw in front of me was an epitome of self-confidence and self-control. Totally devoid of any trait of self-pity. I looked hard, but couldn’t see any bruised ego, bursting emotions or maddening anger. All I could see was a calm smile and a pair of inquisitive eyes staring at me.

“We all have different levels of endurance and different tipping points. What is important is to realize when you reach that tipping point. Thankfully I did realize it.

I never shied away from compromises, adjustments and acceptances – all of which come as part of a healthy sustainable relationship. But then I reached a point where I could accept no more. I reached my tipping point. And I also realized that if I don’t balance myself, I will tip-over.

I won’t say it was easy. To forgive and forget is never easy. But I still had to try. I just had to. After this I won’t have any regrets.

We all are showered with advises in such situations – ‘at least your bills are being paid’, ‘you shouldn’t accept this behavior’, ‘it’s not easy to live alone’, ‘such people never change’, ‘is it worth it’. And honestly there were times when I wished something should just tie me down. I would look for excuses to avoid a decision. It was like bearing the burden of two people in a relationship - when I wasn't even sure if the other person was in it with me. And the burden was weighing heavy on me.

Sometimes it’s easier when you don’t have a choice, you just accept things and live on. But fortunately or unfortunately I had the option of making a choice. “

My protagonist decided to give the relationship a second chance. I am still not sure of the motivation behind it, I could only see the strength of character. All I know is that it was not a compromise. It was on clearly laid out terms. Each one knew the risks involved and the challenges ahead. In lot of ways this arrangement was contractual.

I don’t know how this relationship will evolve from this point onward. And honestly, I don’t even want to predict it. I don’t even want to answer the question we started with. Not for myself, nor for anyone else.

But what I take away from this entire story is the strength my friend showed. Strength to stand for oneself. Without arguments, fights, emotional outbursts or display of anger. It was on calm, logical and strong grounds that this battle was won.

And irrespective of the outcome of this arrangement, in my eyes my friend is a winner – simply for the heroic display of inner strength.