She rushed towards me with tears filling up those tiny eyes.
Hurt and anger was written all over her face. I embraced my 3-year old daughter
and hugged her tightly. My shoulder was wet and my heart was aching.
As mothers we tend to get very protective about our kids. At
that moment I could have hit anyone who brought tears in those eyes. That is
how most of the species react – humans or animals – both.
Coming back to my daughter, hurt, anger, embarrassment seem
big words for a 3-year old. But they feel it. And they feel it deep. What they
lack is expression. And at times the
inability to express frustrates them. As much as it frustrates us.
I must admit that I have learnt to not get effected by her
every-day play-area fights, more than often coming tantrums and a few illogical
demands. Many senior fraternity members have advised me not to take such
incidences to heart. Once my daughter’s nursery teacher told me,”We never inform
mothers about fights among kids. The problem is kids forget but mothers don’t.”
I think what they are saying makes sense.
But today I have a few more serious questions. What should I do as a parent when I see some
kid doing one of the following
· - Pushing each other to danger, like in front of a
car or while riding a bicycle
· -Hitting with a stick or a bat
· -Climbing out of windows and balconies in
high-rise buildings
· -Using abusive language
· -Insulting elderly or parents of other kids
· -Causing embarrassment by indecently explicit
remarks or actions
Or any such unacceptable behavior.
I am quite convinced on what I should do if in the above
case the culprit (maybe too strong a word) is my own child. A friend has
recently set an excellent example when she made her 6-year old son apologize publicly
for his miss-behavior. I am sure the impact was bigger than any beating or
punishment she could have given.
However my dilemma is how I should react if someone else’s child
misbehaves. These are some of the suggestions I have received from my peers:
“Why are you bothered? He is not your child.”
“You can’t do moral policing. Let the parents figure out.”
“There is no point in talking to the parents. They won’t
believe you. They will always trust their child more, who will obviously lie.”
“I know you are feeling bad for your child. But kids are resilient.
They will forget, and so must you.”
“It’s better to stop the child and counsel him. Going to the
parents is a waste of time. They will start accusing you of mud-slinging.”
And so what must I do? What do you do as responsible
parents?
Do you only ensure that your kids are away from such kids? Do
you educate your kids to not get influenced? Do you fight with the parents? Or are
there better ways of approaching these cases?
I request you to share your opinions. It will help me. It
will help other parents. And reading what others have to say may also help you.
Thanking you in advance.
