Friday 12 September 2014

The First Step


Taking the first step is usually the most challenging task. For any new endeavor, we may spend a lot of time planning, preparing, anticipating and then again planning. Yet when the moment of taking that plunge comes, the heart skips a beat, hands go cold and feet go numb.

I had quite a similar feeling as I walked towards the school gate holding my daughter’s hand. She is too young to fully grasp the change that was about to come to her little world. But I, her mother, who had organized all this, knew it too well.

We had planned well and planned long for this day. It was nothing less than a big research project for us. It has been some time since we, the parents, had started discussing about sending our 2 year daughter to a pre-school. We even discussed it with other parents and gathered their experience. This was followed by a thorough search of the neighboring schools.  We compared them on all parameters – hygiene, facilities, student strength, curriculum, activities conducted, staff presence and behavior, space to play, fee structure, travel time, proximity to home etc etc etc. As the next step, we met the administrative and teaching staff of the short-listed schools, to better understand their culture and processes. And it was after all this pre-work, that we decided on a school.

As I stood at the gate, I must admit I was nervous. Earlier, both my husband and I had decided to accompany her. But he could not join as he was called away for work. Thus I was entrusted once again to play the role of both parents. Just to digress a bit, I think it’s just not possible to fill in that gap which only a father can. I only try to expand my presence a little bit more in a vain attempt to cover for his absence.
Coming back to the school gate, I carried my daughter in my arms, just to provide that extra comfort. She was looking at this new place with the curiosity of a toddler, yet clung to me, for her sense of security. Since this was her first day, the principal suggested that I must accompany her to the class.
My daughter was joining the place mid-session, and hence the other kids had already been there for almost two months. They looked up from their toys as we entered the room, with the innocent and wide gaze of a toddler. I tried to step a little away from my daughter, but she kept clinging to me, probably guessing that I was about to leave her there. And then exactly as I had expected, she started crying, refusing to leave me. I, along with the two teachers and the class assistant, were trying hard to cajole her. But our words were falling on deaf ears.

Seeing this commotion a small boy got up from his seat. He must have been of the same age as my daughter. He walked towards her, holding his teddy bear in one hand. He gave me a confused look and asked, “why she crying?” Then without waiting for my response, he turned towards her and extended the hand in which he was holding the teddy, ”you can take my teddy.”

This gesture of love and compassion, coming from so young a child, touched me deeply. I wonder how many of us will have the courage to offer our precious belongings to any stranger.
It is this impromptu, unplanned first step of offering help without any expectation, which I think is the most difficult one. 

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