And I sat there, overwhelmed with a sense of excitement,
looking at those tiny feet taking their first step…..
Kids grow up. And they grow up fast. Much sooner than we
realize. And as parents we are left with a confused mix of emotions, feeling
relieved with their reduced dependence on us, and yet scared to let go.
This is a feeling mentors and coaches in professional world
experience very often. Like a baby looking at his mother for food, comfort and
shelter, people in any organization also look for growth, guidance and support.
And again, just like a baby recognizes that among all the people in his
surroundings, it’s the mother who will fulfill his needs. Similarly, an
individual also expects his mentor to help him prepare for the challenges and
difficulties the professional world will pose before him.
All of us at some point in our careers have either looked up
to a senior member of the fraternity, immediate boss, a friend or a colleague to
coach us or help us take certain important decisions. However each of these
relationships don’t develop as a mentor-mentee relation. For that to happen,
the association must exist over a period of time. Just like a new-born may
start looking for his mother right after his birth. But for him to recognize
her touch, smell and to feel her presence, it takes a few days or sometimes
weeks.
As I started to spend more time with my daughter I realized
that some of the skills or values I had picked up during my project management
days, especially those related to team-connect and team-management, knowingly
or unknowingly I was using them with my little protégée.
Observe – as a manager we were often encouraged to
establish a close connect with our teams, to understand the unique needs of
each member, and help them decide a growth path they want to pursue. This is
very similar to a mother who learns to pick up the unique needs, demands and
gestures of her baby. Patient listening and keen observations are keys to the
other person’s mind. A mother who has had more than one child will be able to
tell how each reacted differently to similar needs and situations. Similarly,
it is equally important to identify the individual’s strengths and weaknesses.
If these are made part of the growth plan early on, it goes a long way in an all-round
development of the individual.
Build – as
people’s leader it is very important to keep your team motivated and inspire
confidence in them to achieve their goals. Similarly when you have kids at
home, it becomes very important to maintain a positive environment in and around
the house. Lauding them on their small silly achievements goes a long way in
turning them in confident individuals. A small thing which we all tend to
forget in our maddening rush of goals and deadlines is that it is not always
important to do the right thing in the right way. Sometimes it is more
important to just try. As parents, like as mentors, our job is only to inspire
our protégée. Rather them giving them ready solution for all their problems,
ability to find those answers will prepare them for all challenges.
Let Go –
this is probably the most difficult of all skills. To let go. To see your
apprentice metamorphose into an independent individual, brimming with
confidence to face the world, is certainly a very satisfying feeling. However,
where most people fail is to be able to identify that moment. It is true that
even after this point the mentee could do well with some guidance and support.
However equally true is the fact that some battles are better fought alone. The
learning that comes with making difficult decisions, and facing the
consequences, can’t be taught. They can only be gained through experience.
And thus it doesn’t worry me when my little one falls while
playing or running inside the house or in the park. As only then she will learn
to get up. My job as a mother or as a mentor is not to prevent her from
falling. My job is to only ensure she doesn’t jump out of the window…….
